To my past self
I know you have been through some troubled times. I know you have overcome a lot of barriers. I mean you’re here today so your track record has been pretty good. But there are and forever will be some dark days that seem to pop up out of no where and knock you down. I know some of the things we used to do to get over those dark days were not the best choices. Some days even got pretty rocky. You didn’t know if we would make it or not. Good news though, we did make it. That’s why I’m writing this letter to you. Over the course of the years we have learned better ways to get through the dark times. Because we have utilized these healthier choices, the dark days have come around less and less. Here in the future we look forward to family time, playing with the dogs, getting good grades, and making memories with good friends. We don’t have to look forward to self harm or getting wasted to get a release. We use music, writing, running, yoga, and a bunch of other ways to deal with our emotions. We are a lot closer to mom now, she is one of our best friends. For the first time, our life looks great from not only the outside in; but, also the inside out. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t east to get here; but, we did it and that’s all that matters. Everything you went through has molded the person I am today. I think if we could meet face to face you would see how far we have come and it would give you the hope you needed. You would talk to a funny, outgoing, kind, smart, beautiful, confident, sturdy, and just generally happy girl. I know it’s hard to see yourself in this way, but it’s where we have gotten— believe it or not. We have a great group of friends that will support us through anything. We have a family that we can go home to anytime. Three years in college later, and we are still going strong. We have actually accomplished most of that bucket list you wrote when you were 14. We have an even bigger bucket list now. What I’m trying to say is for all those times you thought we’d never make it; well, we really did make it and we have a bright future ahead. I’d like to thank you for holding on with the little hope you had through all those hard times. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this letter right now. Because you hung on so tightly it made us so strong. I’m pretty sure we can survive anything that tries to test us in the future. To my past self, I just want to say I am proud of you. To my future self, we’ve done it before and we can do it again better. But most importantly, I love both of you!
Love, Shelby Lyn Hisler